The only reason I include this obnoxious title is to really drive home the point: This was the first thing my brain spat out. The first thing your brain spat out was probably like this, too: not too linear, not to cohearant. It's my attempt at trying to be silly after an exhausting morning. Furthermore, if you're intersted in hiring me, and if a number of years have passed since 2015, pleasepleaseplease do not pass 'go,' do not collect $200. Just don't even bother to read this craziness!